I was a drunk. I was not an alcoholic but a drunk. Alcohol was a crutch that I chose to drown my sorrows and to escape from a situation I put myself into. Then I met someone who cared for me even though I was a drunk. She picked me up off the floor and cleaned me up. I left the situation I was in and I quit getting drunk. I still drank but I cut way down and knew when to stop.
I had 10 years of sobriety until I ended the relationship. I then went about six months getting drunk often. I then decided to quit drinking completely. In the last 12 years I had four drinks. I have no urge to drink. I lived in a bar and did not relapse. I tended bar and did not relapse.
Everybody’s addiction is different. The recovery is different for each person. Some turn to God for help. Some go to AA or NA. Some do I on there own with some help from others. I did it on my own without help. I just decided not to drink anymore.
One thing is true in all cases. Recovery is from within. The addict has to want to recover. The addict has to make that first step and realize that they need to change. Then they may need help from friends, family, God and/or a support group.
What about rehab. For some it works but only if they make changes when they get out. They still have to make up there mind that they will recover and they still may need help from friends, family, God and/or support groups.
AA and NA say that addiction is a disease. There is no cure. The addict must abstain and never have another taste of the drugs or alcohol. Many use the disease as an excuse to relapse. Based on my observations it is not a disease but a character flaw that can be changed.
Maybe in some cases it is a disease or a genetic defect. Addiction can run in families. Is it genetic or environmental? In many cases if the parents are addicted one or more of the children will become addicts. In the case of smoking crack or other drugs the children will get a contact high which can lead to an addiction. If a child is around other addicts the same thing can happen or peer pressure may lead to addiction. What I have seen is environmental.
When I was a child a girl I knew well had a father who was an alcoholic. She did not go to alcohol. She did try suicide a few times and then changed her religion. Her father was Jewish, her mother was Protestant and she became Catholic. Her family environment formed her life’s choices.
My dad’s ex-partner and his wife were alcoholics. Their son was schizophrenic and died at a young age from rheumatoid arthritis. Was the son’s health determined by the parent’s alcoholism? Could it have been from the effects of alcohol before and during the pregnancy? I do not know. His mental state could have been caused by the stress he was under from his parent’s alcoholism. A parent’s substance abuse does put the children at risk. There is no doubt about that.
In many cases if the child sees the damage caused by drugs and he or she is turned away from drugs. When they see the down side of drug use before they are under the influence of others they have something to fight the urge to use drugs. Peer pressure can be very hard for them to fight. The urge to be accepted is a strong one. A parent needs to know what the children are doing and who they are doing it with. They need to talk to their children not tell their children what to do or not to do. Telling them not to do something may make them rebel. Giving them reasons not to do something will give them reasons to not do it.
The prospective addict has to say no to drugs. The more the parent says no the more they want to try it. I have found that telling someone they are wrong can make an enemy and if it is your boss it can cost you your job. You have to show them why they are wrong so that they decide that they are wrong.
You can not stop a person from using drugs. They have to see that it is not the way to go. What makes it harder to help a person stop using that they only see the good side? The bad side is hidden by the good side.
The physical addiction is hard to fight. Cigarette smokers see that. When you are away from it you get antsy. You start to shake. You start withdrawals and the only thing that will stop them is a fix. Eventually the pain of withdrawals will go away. The urge to use may be with you for a long time and may never go away. Years later there may be times when you think that you want a fix. The longer you say no the easier it is to say no. There is hope if you realize this. You have to be strong and you can be strong.
The only one that can get the addict to stop is the addict. No matter what friends and family say the addict is the only one who can put a stop to the addiction. The place for the friends and family is to help them realize that they can do it and that they will be better off if they stop. Most have given up on life or are trying to cover up the pain of a traumatic experience. It is a crutch to forget.
Self esteem is usually the key to success. I have never seen an addict who cares for themselves. They feel that they deserve the problems they have. They deserved to lose that job, home and family. They deserve what is happening to them. They use the drugs to forget their problems. When they are high they are not thinking about problems but enjoying the moment. They are not thinking about the fact that they are killing themselves. They do not care about anything but that high.
You have to give them a reason to care. You have to show them that they are worth saving. You have to get them in touch with themselves. You have to show them that they are someone to love. You also have to find the underlying reason for their addiction and work to either eliminate it or to find a way they can deal with it and set it aside so they can live without it bothering them.
I have found that you can deal with anything if you do not worry about it. If you can not do anything about it you have to realize that and work around it. When something bad happens you have to look for a way to make it bring about good. All of the bad things that happened to me throughout live have made me what I am today. I used the bad to strengthen my resolve to improve my life. I realized that if I can take care of my need and limit my wants I can have a happy life.
In order to quit drinking and to do away with the urges I had to institute a total attitude readjustment. I had to change my priorities and I had to start living my life for me. Once I did that I found that helping others helps me. Writing the book, The Crazy Old White Man from the Hood, showed me what I am today and gave me reason to stay sober. Helping others find themselves and find the good inside helps me to remember who I am and what I am.
You have to live life, love life and love yourself before you can love others and before others will love you. You have to sell yourself to yourself before you can sell yourself to others. Life is great if you live it to the fullest. This does not mean to go wild but to make what you do enjoyable. Everything that happens to you has a good side if you use it for good.
Stay clean and sober.
Get high on life not drugs.
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